we're blogging at a bar
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
