I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I could fuck to npr.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
