How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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