i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
