Having a random hookup so left but love u
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
