Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
