I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
