Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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