i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize