Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
