Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Farmville is her only friend.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
