new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
