when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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