How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
