Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
