.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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