You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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