we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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