Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
