i barfeds in our rink
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
