planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
porn star boner night. come get it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
