if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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