Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
