im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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