I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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