You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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