I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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