Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
