Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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