I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize