Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
