It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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