How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
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