Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
