she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
