Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
