my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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