Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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