I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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