i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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