how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
