The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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