and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
