conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
