i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
