So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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