i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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