Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
