was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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