Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
