I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
