yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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