And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
