Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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