Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
