how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
