Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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