i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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