2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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